The popularity of swingers

Since the 17th century swinging or wife-swapping has been a way of life for those who don’t want a typical relationship in Europe. Though it is not exact as to how it started in the United States it is a widely popular belief that it was started among military communities in the 1950’s. Swinging is now widely practiced today in many different cultures by many different types of couples. Research shows that over 4 million people in the U.S. are swingers. On the front door of the Playboy Mansion there is a plaque that reads, “If you don’t swing, don’t ring. Hugh Hefner is the most famous swinger.

In modern day marriage each spouse has fantasies of another person. Those who do not are lying. These fantasies often lead to affairs and ultimately divorce. Swinger couples do not have affairs. They do not lie to their partners. Research studies show that most couples in a swinging relationship are happier than they were when they “abided” by the laws of marriage. Jealousy and resentment towards their spouse is rare. They have an understanding that no matter who they sleep with at night they both know who they are going home with. This kind of understanding can only be built on faith, trust, and love. Swinging is built specifically on lust.

There are four basic types of swinging.

Soft swinging

Soft swinging is the action in which a couple has sex in the same room as another couple. No swapping is involved and each person only engages in sex with their spouses. This type of swinging caters to those who are turned on by others watching them or by watching others. It is quite popular with the voyeuristic crowd or those who are new to the idea of swinging. It is often used as a stepping stone to the next level of swinging; soft swap.

Soft swap

Soft swapping is the act of performing oral sex on someone who is not your spouse. New swingers usually use this method to get use to the idea of another person touching their spouse. It is an important step to help determine if jealousy is present when seeing another person touching their spouse. Other swingers may stay with soft swapping for various reasons. Some couples believe penetration should be reserved for the one you are with. Other couples may fear their safety and keep oral sex to avoid sexually transmitted diseases.

Full swap

This is the most widely recognizable type of swinging. Full swap is the act of having full penetration from someone who is not your spouse. Couples who engage in full swaps are typically very confident in their marriage. There are no signs of jealousy and each partner understands the meaning of “play” as it is often referred to. Each “playmate” has accepted their role in the swinger community and participates fully.

Group sex

This is a no limit activity involving multiple couples. Often times it is referred to as an orgy. Couples who participate in group sex have generally been in the swinging lifestyle for many years. These participants take many risks both physically and emotionally.

In every relationship there must be certain factors present to assure a long lasting partnership. In a swinging relationship some of these factors must be stronger. Trust is one factor that must be strong between the spouses. When giving your spouse to another person you must have a sense of trust to know they will not leave. Many people are unable to engage in sexual activity without developing feelings for the person they sleep with. In a swinging scenario, that can break the trust of the spouse and cause strain on the relationship. Each couple must be confident in who they are and who they are with before attempting a singing relationship. Many couples who already have trouble in their relationship may turn to swinging as a way to bring the excitement back into their marriage. Most couples who begin swinging for this reason have failed and divorced.

On occasion one spouse may be interested in swinging whereas the other is not. The spouse who is not interested in joining the lifestyle is typically referred to as the “hold-out” whereas the other spouse that engages in the activity is referred to as the “desirous party”. The hold-out respects the spouse’s decision to enter the swinger lifestyle.

In most cities in the U.S. there are swinger communities. In these cities where the swinger population is larger you are most likely able to find a swinger club. Usually these buildings are old night clubs or warehouses that have been bought or rent for the sole purpose of swingers. Most of these clubs are kept secret to avoid any incidents that may occur from their exposure to society. Other cities may be more tolerant of their life choices and you will see the club thriving.

Entry into the club is usually on a fee basis. A single man may pay more than someone who brings his wife or girlfriend. Strict rules are enforced when dealing with conduct. Such rules are placed there for the safety of everyone. Single men are often unable to approach a single woman or a couple. If a single man is wanted the couple will select him. The interior of these clubs are often laid out to include multiple bars. The back area of the club will usually house small rooms for privacy when couples meet. Swingers also look out for each other by not allowing their members to drive drunk.

Becoming a swinger is a life choice not to be taken lightly or rushed. If you are having marriage problems before considering this as an alternative, then perhaps you should mend those problems before trying swinging. In ancient times swinging was revered. Wife swapping was the normal practice of men of power. Though times have changed there are a few things that have not, swinging is here to stay.

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